The First Line of Defense

I was told by a great man that, "the first line of defense is your family." Meaning that family will be the first to jump right into the mix of things when you decide to "upset the apple cart" and go against the status quo. And I don't mean they'll take up arms and fight with you. All too many times, they try and turn you back to the way you were. So I'm feeling myself being slowly worked to "conform" because I keep putting out into the universe (and among family and friends) that I'm really really serious about homeschooling my children. Well it was just an idea a few years ago but now as my oldest is "school age" because she just turned 5 years old, the barrage of questions from both sides of the family are picking up speed. The once subtle suggestions about why one should send their children to school are now becoming "concerns." And since I am not an island those "concerns" have a way of planting themselves in my head. So of course it causes me to doubt myself and then go re-check all the things I've check about a million time already. And sh*t my thing is, if I'm f*cking up my kids anyway because I'm sequestering them and not allowing them to be "socialized" in a school environment or a day care so they can play with other kids, well then I'm sacrificing for not. I may as well go to work out side the home right this second. Dump my oldest off at the nearest public school, take my 2 little ones to the KinderCare up the street and send the baby to some sitter off CraigsList. I mean cuz really, what's the point, right? Because my kids are gonna be even more messed up because I don't wanna send them to public school, or parochial school, or some private school where they are gonna be about 1 of 10 African children in the ENTIRE school. So what the f*ck am I doing? May as well kill two birds with one stone, make some money from a 9-5 and mess up my kids so we can all be just like everybody else, right? One big azz "Stepford" family. I mean since they gonna be messed up anyway because they are at home with their mother all day and don't get to socialize with other children 8 hours a day.

My thing is, why is it such an issue with homeschooling? I mean dayum ain't like I'm a high school drop out. And even if I were, does that mean I shouldn't try and see what's the best fit for my children vs. I'm just doing whatever and ignoring their different personalities and how they may interact with others. I don't want to just suppress who my children naturally are and squelch their individual beings. And frankly I think alot of schools do that to children. Parents are also guilty of this. Sh*t I'm guilty of it too because it's sooo easy to just do it the same way my parents did it. But just because that's what "everybody" is doing, does that make it the right thing to do? *sigh* Dayum DJ was right when he said "it's hard out here for a pimp ma'an" *chuckle to self* I wouldn't be me if I wasn't able to laugh at sh*t.

*smoochies* Lady A, the Non-Conformist (a work in progress)